If it wasn't for those meddling kids...

There comes a time when you finally just throw up your hands and say "Fine then".

I stumbled into that moment today.   It dawned on me that I have been trying too hard to define myself outside of being a mother. I've wanted so badly to find some comfy place in which I could unfold all that I am and plaster it all over the other things people have put up on my wall. I was so unfairly resentful of anything or anyone that imposed their needs upon my own.  As though if I didn't find that part of me that makes me Patricia (not the wife, not the mom) and hold on tight with both hands, my grip might slip and I'd be lost for good.  Well, being in the forest so long I was starting not to see the trees.  

Right now, I am a wife.  Right now, I am a mom.  There is nothing else I really need to be.  And my hands need to be free for caressing cheeks that won't be chubby forever; for wiping away tears that might one day be hidden from mommy; and for keeping the rest of the nest ready for the day when we find it empty (many, many, moons from now!)

I started this blog as a creative tool to help me uncover characteristics or interests that may have been laying hidden; other things I might be; to remind me of the other things I once wanted to be.  In 2 years, I've only had one entry.  It took me this long to see that the blockage was self-imposed.  I couldn't write because I was trying to use someone else's voice and fly along someone else's path. 

My kids have hijacked my life.  They have me tied up in the cockpit, and have full control of the flight path, God help us. But that is where my joy is; seeing the clever things they come up with to deal with the blips on the screen.  So, that is what this blog will be about; my kids, my little Oliveira's served straight up. All those crazy things they say and do that make me  facepalm smile.  I hope they do the same for you.

PS. Up till now I've been documenting all their wit and wisdom on my Facebook account.  I'm going to be digging deep into past status history to see how much of that I can salvage and I'll post them here instead. So I'll ask my Facebook friends and family in advance to forgive the repeats!

Stay tuned.  Things may get interesting!